Memorial Day in Memory of Mom

The Memorial Day on the last Monday of May, a federal holiday, makes a nice long weekend. It, in many ways, symbolizes the beginning of the long-awaited summer here in this part of the US. This is when you hope for good weather; this is when many families will hit the road and camp grounds (skyrocketing gas price - $3.30 per gallon - won't even deter them from going); this is also when you will involuntarily breathe in air filled with BBQ smell. Of course, on the radio or TV, you'd hear or tune into shows in rememberance of those who died in military service - the real reason for having a day dedicated to this purpose.

This year, for me, the word "memorial" means something different. We cancelled our trip to Alaska, we didn't fire up our grill. I'm taking some time off to catch up on old memories with my mom who just passed away over a month ago. This has became a special weekend in memory of her.

I've taken a long break from this blog. Sometimes silence is a heightened sense of grief; sometimes silence is just the result of the dizzying pace of the modern-day life that we choose to live and not question. It's more of a senseless blur than blissful serenity that I wish I could wrap myself in.

After coming back from Mom's funeral, I went to Vancouver for a conference, then the following week, flew to Boston on a red-eye flight for a weekend in Provincetown on Cape Cod. Being on the road a lot left little room and time for grieving. Or maybe I'm just afraid of taking on the weight of grief and loss accumulating inside me.

I thought about quitting this blog completely and returning to the good old pen-paper type of journalling. But for what? I don't have a compelling reason to do that. So, I'm back to this cyber-space rambling along as my diversions occur, be they seldom or random.

May Mom lie in peace and love...