Spring Forward (an hour and a year for me)!

"Spring one hour forward!" The reminders are - in the news, on the radio, on the web - everywhere. This year, the Day Light Saving Time came three weeks earlier than last year. But spring is like a half-way open door with winter's tail still in view: The howling rainy wind reminds us not to put away winter clothes yet. Courageously, many cherry trees have bloomed in spite of the incessant rain; pinkish flower petals are one of the few visible signs of the arrival of spring. Other flowers like daffodils and tulips are trying hard to add some primary colors to the misty grey canvas. The maple trees in our backyard are still bald and bare swaying in the wind. Be spring here or not, we are springing forward for the sake of preserving energy, as so proclaimed.

Lately, the whole world seems to be giving the topic of environment and energy efficiency extra attention. The documentary "An Inconvenient Truth" won its share of glory at this year's Oscar night; President Bush just went to Latin America to buddy up with Brazil and other big sugar cane producing countries in promoting ethanol production all in the name of being environmentally friendly and energy efficient. At home in Seattle, the debate on which option to choose for replacing the aging waterfront Viaduct also put these issues in spotlight. Now we have a new Day Light Saving Time to implement and experiment also in the spirit of saving energy. Let's just hope these are not just empty talk and extra fuel for political in-fight and ulterior motives (like confectioners trying to sell more candies to kids on Halloween if the Day Light Saving Time extends to include the day of Halloween).

Ah, I wish we could turn our biological clock so arbitrarily - spring forward or rewind backward. Unfortunately, our life is not a mechanical clock. I can only embrace the addition of another year to my age with grace and zeal.

I turned 34 (or 35, depending on how one counts). Surely, I prefer 34 and wouldn't like the idea of springing forward in age. I guess celebrating birthday has been ingrained in cultures across borders. To many, it's an occasion to get together and hang out with friends and families; and the birthday person gets to indulge in being the center of attention with candles lit up and balloons floating in the air. But I didn't grow up celebrating each and every birthday at all. So, I don't expect much. Worse than that, over time, I've developed an acute sense of uneasiness, or rather paranoia, over celebrating birthday. In fact, I just want to totally forget about it, which, sometimes, does the opposite. I still haven't quite figured out the psyche behind my paranoia. On the other hand, I know what a sweet feeling it is to get a "Happy Birthday" from friends and families on the phone, in the mail or via email. They remind me that I don't need to tuck myself away in a closet getting all weired about a day that's really just another day.

After M walked in my life, my birthdays have been quite colorful and fun - surprise weekend trips here and there. Last year, we spent a weekend in a cabin with Jacuzzi at the foot of Mt. Rainier. This year, he wants to celebrate my birthday on a different day due to his tight schedule at work. But I'm equally happy spending my birthday in utterly blissful solitude: soaking in hot bathtub, flipping magazines while sipping tea and listening to the radio. It's a special retreat for myself.

I soaked in hottub for a long time, letting my thoughts drifting to my past. When mom was my age, I was already 11 years old, and we were just in the midst of moving from Xinjiang to Hunan - a turning point in our lives together. And I know this year, it's going to be another turning point for mom and me...

I have reset our clocks. But there is not a "reset' button on my past and future.